What's on your mind?

Hey everyone! Im here to talk about the hard times in life. Ive lived for 19 years and I successfully finished the 4 full years of high school. High school was tough it was a rollercoaster ride. But I'm glad I got through all of it with a good support system of my friends. But now I’m here. Second year of my college journey. With the peer pressure or the strong pressure of my parents Ive been trying to pursue my parents dream of becoming a nurse. 

Ive joined a program called 3Thursdays and it made me realize that I loved to write. Writing helps me destress. Writing about anything my heart tells me to. Ive always loved fiction. Stories are like fantasies to me. Fantasies that we truly want but impossible to get. They say write your own story but in real life its not that easy. You have all these voices that tell you how to live your life and whats the right and wrong way to live a life. To live your OWN life. Your voices can tell you anything even the outrageous but its not that easy. 

I sit here writing to you guys about how life gets really tough. Sometimes you feel lonely. Sometimes you feel like you have no support system. Sometimes you feel like you have no one. Sometimes you feel pressured to do thing you don't want. Sometimes you think you're influenced really easy. Sometimes you feel just feel like a follower and not leader. Sometimes you feel different. Sometimes you feel like your making the wrong choices but you tell yourself its the right choice. Life is shitty. And I know you have to deal with it. But yeah but how are you just supposed just stay quiet and not say anything. Don't you feel paralyzed, frozen, stiff? You cant move because you feel like every choice you made, you will regret in the future or even in the present. 

They say your lucky. You're lucky you even have the luxury to go to college. You’re lucky to have parents who love you. But do they listen. Or do you even speak? No, I cant I love my parents I don't want to disappoint. My goal is to give back to my parents after I get a job as soon as I get a job. I promised them. I love them. I need to give back as soon as possible. If I don’t everyone will disown me and hate me forever. They’ll say I was just a disappointment. Don't get me wrong though I love my parents its just… I don't know. Its hard to say what I want. I just feel like no one knows the truth but me. I feel alone. No one could help me, its just me, myself, and I.  

Like sometimes I feel like they’re right. But they just don't understand how scared I am. Life is way too scary for me. Its way too big. 

But my motivation to live through this life is to take this life one step at a time or take this one day at a time. Im just hoping I can find a solution. So wish me and everyone their best of luck. 

Thanks for listening… 

Sorry for the bad grammar mistakes, if you find any please comment. I know Im not perfect. Please comment if you have any questions. 

Below was just music that inspired for me to write. 

Music: 

Invisible by Hunter Hayes 

Flashlight by Hunter Hayes 

Nothing like starting over by Hunter Hayes